Hi, The reason I have not updated this in forever is I have my own domain that I host a journal on. www.WhatTheHellAmIDoingHere.com



So dissapointing, yesterday was a very busy day for once. I didn't sleep at all when I got home from work. Instead I did the unthinkable! I studied when not at work. Once I was done with that, I got motivated. I was bored and I wanted to get my books back from a friend so I could finish rereading the song of Fire and Ice. Then I remembered I was supposed to go see my uncle and fix a computer problem of his. While I was at it I decided to go see one of my best friends. So that is exactly how I spent my day. Kept me busy till the evening. Then I crashed for 12 hours:)

Today I as of yet I went to class. Took a midterm. I know the answers to all the questions but I'm uncertain if I phrased them right. That in structor is finiky about that. Besides that I have been reading.

Tonight I'm determined to spend the evening with another friend. I'm not sure which yet. My day to day exisistence is so exciting is it not? Tommorow I have a quiz in logic I have not even begun to look at nor will I. It was very nice to see my friend yesterday. I had not seen him in a month. It's so sad I have to know have to make time for my best of friends when I used to see them on a nearly daily basis:(

I remembered the very day I realized I was collared to be an adult. It was 2 weeks after graduating high school. I awoke at 9am, that is very early for me usually. As I laid in bed I thought to myself "What the hell am I doing awake". Then it occured to me I had to work. I was like shit why? Then I realized, for your car of course. Then I thought why do I need a car then. Then I realized I needed it to go to class. Then why go to class? Cause I want to make more money then my bastard of a father. So we come full circle. It was then I realized that I would never again be off for 3 months again to do what I wished with it, or even 2 weeks. My childhood had ended and I never even seen it till it was to late. Oh well, I now strive to retire early, 55 sounds so nice.

Well I'm going to get to calling my friends, L8,


Thunderbirds and full metal jackets killing time...

Well It's almost 6am. Damn this shift has passed by SO damn slow. We watched full metal jacket tonight. That movie was deffinitely for the generation before me. I don't connect with it very well.

But then I never was one who supported violence as a resoloution of problems. Fortunatly I have a heart defect that would ever keep me from being drafted. I hate the whole idea of war. I guess it also go's under my idea that to do for something or someone I would have to put it's value as greater then my own life and I have yet to meet anyone or see anything that I would die for. Maybe I'm just the most selfish man alive though:)

I made a new friend tonight. Not the good type though. One of these pathetic lamo's who call us cause they are lonely. I hate those bastards. Get a life. It's not hard to make friends. Sure your standards might be high. But, if they are so high why are you trying to be friend your internet tech support...

I was inspired today. When I was going to get a pizza from Dante's, I happened to park next to a hardtop comvertible. As I looked at the car closer I became more and more attracted to it. Then I saw it was a thunderbird and I was in love. I have never had an affinty for classic cars before. But, there is a first time for everything. I want this car. A black one with the port hole hard top. It is a 1956-7 model Thunderbird Convertible. That car looks awesome. The 2002 Thunderbird looks like it but costs around $40,000 in the package I want. But a restored Tbird will run me under $30,000. I had been looking for what car I would want after I sold my 1997 Cougar and I found it.

Also tonight in my state of boredom. I did one of my favorite school confidence building pass times. I went to the ca.gov employment site. I always get a warm glowing feeling when looking at that site. It is a great reminder of why I go to college. Today's great job was an Occupational saftey and ergonomics Assistant. Basicly the job is train people to be safe and make sure all office equipment is safe and as I would be an assistant I would not bear responsibility for being productive. The salary is 48k a year start! If I had my degree I would leave today. I love the government. *evil cakling laughter*

I did more homework tonight. I deffinitly am going to go try and hang out with friends tonight. My cougar is still running like a champ. I'm hungry righht now. But, I have pizza waiting for me at home. mmmm...

It's odd when I came in to work tonight there were yahoo stickers all over the office. I was like shit did we get bought out??? It was actually the opposite someone from yahoo came and interviewed for a job today at the ISP I work for LOL! I don't even work for an ISP 1/100 the size of AOL. Oh well I hear they pay well by this towns standards.

Argh! there was something else I wanted to write about tonight. But now I can't remember. Oh well maybe next time...

Back Again

hmmm... I don't know what compeled me to come back and write again. But here I am none the less...

What have I done in the last 6 days? Nothing and it was everything I thought it could be. No, really I went to most of my classes. I had only one paper so a very light week. I have a midterm monday I'm going to study for tommorow night. Procrastination to the point of no return! Then I have a quiz on Tuesday that'll just wing.

My friends at work have got me playing everquest again. I don't know how long that will last this is the 3rd time I've started playing. The game is just so frustrating. If I can't get a port to free port, I'll probably stop playing again. Now that I am lvl4 the game has become a lot more fun as I can now group. However, my job and school keep me from becoming a serious EQ fiend. But, I don't think that's all bad. However it is a great way for me to burn free time I have at odd hours with no books to read.

I finished rereading Game of thrones for the first time this week. Wow I had forgotten a lot. I need to ge the rest of the series back from a frien dI let borrow them. Then I think I'll reread the sword of truth then maybe the wheel of time.

It's weird I talked to a couple of my good friends last night on IM. I then realized I had not seen them in close to a month. In fact it has been 2 weeks since I have hung out with any of my good friends. I deffinitly need to work on that Sunday night. My work weekend is Sunday night and Monday night. Not exactly productive for the social life.

One big plus is maybe I'm just imagining but my car is driving better then ever. But, then I'm just addicted to driving it so I guess thats nothing. I am so glad I bought that car. It is so much fun and ever time I get in I'm like ah yeah this is what that car payment is for.

That Chico informational I went to last monday was pretty weak. But it was nice to have dinner with my mom for the first time in many weeks. Pepper mill has great pot roast.

I got more homework tonight. Yeah me! When will this ever stop. Oh yeah in 2 years maybe. At least I can do it at work.

I've been so freaking bored and tired tonight. I can't wait to get home and like pass out for 12 hours. That is going to be a major relief.

well I'm still tired and the morning crew should be getting here soon I must make like the Bee's and look busy. L8,


1st Post

Well, this is my first post on this thing. No idea how long I may continue to post here. Depends on my mood I guess.

I got a ton of homework done tonight. It's the friday of my work week. I'll probably call up one of my best friends and hang out today. Work was boring as usual. My coworkers were annoying as usual. You ever know anybody that you just want to plug your ears as soon as they start talking? Well I have one of those guys working with me. Fortunately I only want to plug my ear 50% of the time with him. Though I do know some people I just want to hit whenever they open their mouths.

hmm, an interesting side effect to this thing maybe motivating myself to do things so that I might have something to write about when i get to work and post on this thing. Well today I have good excuse as I literally got off yesterday. Finished reading American Psycho then went straight to sleep. I got 11 hours of sleep which is awesome.

American Psycho the book was much more fucked up then the movie. I think the book added a great horror element and you got a much greater feel for how fucked up the main character is.

Speaking of movies Fight Club is my current favorite. I was not always so into movies. But, the matrix got me into them. I'm a thinker. I'm always analyzing everything. Well the matrix was one of the first movies I saw that was more then just another human drama. I love fight club for it's social commentary on the American Male, the human desire to feel powerful and alive, our self destructive tendency's. Well I could write all day...

Thinking... An interesting thought to me I had a couple of weeks ago Cellphones. Have you ever considered why cellphones have gotten so damn popular? Oh yeah their convenient. But we did used to be able to live without them. Well I believe I have figured it out. It's Simple really. Cellphones are a socially acceptable set of headphones. See in high school I was always wearing headphones. As the level of conversation of most people depresses me or makes me want to knock the stupidity out of them. Well by putting on the headphones I was labeled "anti-social". Which I was, but headphones are not a good reason to label me. Cellphones on the other hand are a means of ignoring the world "because I'm on an important call". Not only that they make the statement "i'm so important I must be able to communicate 24/7" That is precisely the reason I do not own a cell phone or pager. I do not wish the world to be able to contact me 24/7. The world can leave a message and I will get back to it at my convenience not it's.

Well I have one more small paper to write and I want to get it done before i get off work. Cause then i will not have any more homework to do on my days off from work. I'll keep thinking about this place and make a decision on if I want to keep writing. I like it so far. I wonder how much I'll like it if I know people are actually reading it though...
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